A SURREAL date.
Ironically, also St. Patrick's Day, lol--though our family really doesn't believe in 'luck.'
Still funny, though.
TWO lines appear.
HOW?! I mean..I KNOW 'how'..I just..don't know......HOW!?!!?
Were we not just HERE??? With a 6% shot of even the possibility, BEFORE???
And NOW...not remotely 'planned' or really even, honestly, 'desired.'
Three. Days. Later.
The whole rest of the box of expired strips later as well as three NEW store-bought tests, later.
Aaron's taking what seems like FOREVER to come home from work and I just can't wait anymore. I've already kept it to myself for three whole days of complete shock and triple-checking the accuracy of our 'circumstance.'
I finally just text him a pic of one of the tests.
*pause*
His response: 'Whaaaaaat?????'
My reply: 'Yep.'
*pause*
His reply: 'I'll be home in five.'
He's home in closer to three, but we won't discuss that. LOL.
We sit on the back deck, talking amongst ourselves (not ready to tell the big boys, yet), trying to wrap our brains around it all. Aaron admits that he was 'done' and trying to muster up the courage to tell me he wanted to have 'the procedure' done. Thorin has been AMAZING and he's a great 'end' to our kid-producing-story. He's known that it's still a little hard on me to let go, entirely, of that daughter, so he's been hesitant. We also BOTH know that Thorin will inevitably be an 'only child' as he gets older and his WAY older bros grow into their own, separate lives from our household. That too is a struggle for us both.
Just as God does...He seemingly took care of that worry, though. Since we called Thorin our God-Baby Z...well, this one will just have to be God-Baby Z #2 because...THIS...THIS baby is ALL GOD! And it's going to take EVERY BIT OF GOD'S STRENGTH AND ENERGY to get me through this 'extended chapter' that is our FINAL chapter of children, lol!!!
But we are thrilled.
This baby is ALL ABOUT Thorin and what HE will need.
A sibling and a buddy. Like his brother's had and will always have with each other.
Yes, we've kept pretty much silent about it until now.
Partly due to the need to just...PROCESS it all. Partly due to the circumstances of quarantine and the world, right now. But...now that you KNOW, we WELCOME YOUR PRAYERS.
All genetic testing has come back and everything looks completely NORMAL and HEALTHY, even aside from my 'old age' and wretched medical history.
ONLY. GOD.
Moving MORE mountains.
Unbelievable.
HUMBLING.
Exhausting.
Overwhelming.
We are blessed.
As for a quick side-story involving the number four...
We told the boys just week's later (sometime in early April, I believe) on an evening that the boys' mutual raving over Thorin caught us 'in the right moment' to do so.
Grayson was in a state of shock, not unlike our initial own.
Lincoln, happy once again at the news of being a big bro to a second baby exclaims to me, 'Mom...you get your Magic Number Four!'
I had nearly forgotten about my forever loved number and desired number of children and how I'd relayed that story to my older sons over the years, too. Before Aaron and I were even engaged but dating long enough to both KNOW where things were headed I made him agree to the idea of four children. I'd even recently shared that part of my testimony at church while still pregnant with Thorin.
Two Boys and Two Girls.
That was my heart's desire.
My beloved Grammy had always said 'Never have an ODD number of children as one ALWAYS gets left out.' She's right about that. But God HAD given us only three. And before that, two had had to become 'our story' for years and years worth of 'letting go of my own plans.'
Linc is right.
No, it's not my two and two.
It is an OLDER generation of two and a YOUNGER generation of two--still FOUR--but as we now know, I will remain QUEEN!
What God is up to in literally INUNDATING ME with so much testosterone under this roof, I really. don't. know. But, what I DO know is that I am, indeed, getting my four.
My FAVORITE number as a child.
A 'promise' wished for. A desire asked for.
A chapter...extended.
Due date as of now, based on our only ultrasound thus far, is sometime around the beginning of November.
Crazy, crazy times.........
