Red Bullet. Radical Surgery. Reconstruction. Radiation.
There you have it. The four R's of this mighty journey back to health.
I can't say enough, from the confines of my cushy yet somehow encumbering place on the couch, about how READY (another r-word) I am to be done with the first leg of this journey!
The 'red bullet' has more than earned it's rightful title---bringing with it all sorts of 'fun.'
In the past seven weeks, the lovely red (along with the many meds prescribed to me for it's affects) has made sure I received the all inclusive experience... heartburn, constipation, nausea, acid-reflux, hot-flashes, hair-loss--all the rest that hadn't gone yet--skin sensitivity, cold/flu symptoms, respiratory pressure and shortness of breath, metallic taste-buds (or just none at all), broken sleep, muscle soreness, bone ache, fatigue and overall complete lack of energy. I'm sure there are some I overlooked, but this is not to keep score or throw a pity-party, rather simply to provide an insight to my physical-being realities at the moment.
It's funny what poison physically does to a body. I wouldn't recommend it for unnecessary reasons, that's for sure. ;) Of course, as many keep reminding me... 'If that's what it's doing to you, just think about what it's doing to the cancer!' Indeed. That is a nice thought...... and I most certainly hope and PRAY it is doing something to the cancer so not all this momentary endurance is a complete loss, ha!
As we near the Red Bullet's last 'heeve-ho'--infusion #4 of the 'red-dread'--I struggle a bit to not think about the next trail. No, I'm not worrying or fretting over things in God's Hands and I haven't lost sight of the fact that He's leading the way... but it is still MY physical body that is enduring and this is all new... unfamiliar. A lot of people don't know that I have never even had a surgery before--not even a broken bone before this! Call that irony, for sure.
Many of you have asked about the impending surgeries and what they will look like. I haven't really been able to answer that question because frankly, we don't have all the details yet, either.
What I CAN say, however, is the discussions Aaron and I have had about it and that we both feel anything less than a radical double mastectomy is just not being careful enough. Both of our guts tell us that the 'girls gotta go' so this is the serious discussion we will be having with my assigned surgeon, plastic-surgeon, oncologist and nurse practitioner in just a few weeks from now. I most certainly will blog about those discussions and the decisions made from them concerning the surgery trail, I promise.
We still have a LOT of hiking ahead--though in some ways, I feel I really did trek the scariest trail, first... even though when I'm being completely honest from my flesh side of things, I am terrified of the surgeries, scars and procedures ahead.
I was just telling a friend the other day that I still find myself awaking in the middle of the night, wishfully wondering if it was/is in fact all a dream. Who can blame a person. ;)
Above all else, no matter how many other R's still lay ahead, my REDEEMER went before them!
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
Thank you, all, for your continued support. Our church family, for your ongoing thoughtful meal-providing and gas help...friends and family for your ongoing messages of love and support...and all other loved ones and even new acquaintances for your ongoing prayers.
You are holding the four of us up more than you will ever know~