It's really been hard for me to focus my thoughts to just one blog entry 'subject', lately.
I find myself perseverating on so many details of life AFTER cancer...getting caught up in all the worry of the decisions that are left to us now, on the 'other side.' So, so many things still to be 'solved' and answered. I haven't even begun to organize my thoughts long enough to address them yet.
JUST LIKE THAT... *and maybe not a moment too soon*
Perspective jumps back in my face.
A close girlfriend's father.
We are guaranteed NOTHING but death, in this life. And we are not informed of our numbered days.
Only that they ARE numbered.
Mine. Yours. Your spouse's. Your mother's and your father's. Your children's. Your neighbor's. The person who attended you at the gas station, today. The nice clerk at your local library.
The young boy you saw waiting at the crosswalk around the corner from your house. The bum whom you try to avoid while leaving the grocery-store, each month.
All of us walk around with a number invisibly hovering above our heads--only known by our One, True Creator--yet it's so imperative for us to be amicably aware of in our interactions with one another.
I'm not just talking about being 'nice', either. I'm talking about seizing the moments--ALL moments--in which to truly witness to one another. Show one another God's love and forgiveness and undeniable REALness.
Our message at church was a continued study we're doing in the book of Acts where Paul has had to go before the High Priest and government, under arrest, and explain the recent 'unexplainable' movements of the Holy Spirit to them. After the bible-study had ended, our room of 200+ congregation-members were left to soak in the reminder of the all important role we each play in making sure that the Saving Grace of God is shared and offered to all who cross our path.
I was just telling a friend on the phone tonight that without my faith this past year and a half, I have no doubt that I would've fallen into a bottomless pit of self-pity and despair. Cancer WOULD have rocked ME right out of this world. I know this because I know the moments of depression that still do creep in--I'm all too familiar with the sadness and anger that try, daily, to infiltrate my life--rip my moments away.
But, today, that was put in check. AGAIN.
I found myself nearly re-living the day I was diagnosed. The PERSPECTIVE that was gifted me, that day. The reality that, not just our days, but our moments, are numbered. We can't afford to be angry at, jealous of, irritated by, or stressed because of... ANYTHING. All of those choices rip us off.
It's as though we have a 'bank account' of moments, and we're free to spend them however we wish, but when they're gone.. THEY'RE GONE. We're done.
I won't even go into the deep reality of judgment we will all fall under, some day soon, when we have to give an account of how we used each one. That's for another long-winded blog, I think.
I'm just going to challenge you...as I am challenging myself again, too...
Embrace God's REALness.
Cause not one of us has a single moment to lose~